Align Your Behaviour With Your Words

Is the human behaviour always in alignment with the words spoken?

Certainly not. Most of the time people behave differently and speak differently. This is the reason complications arise while communicating with others as the words spoken do not always completely align with their behaviour. This means that no matter what a person says, their words will not be complete unless that person demonstrates appropriate behaviour to prove it.

“Don’t trust words, trust actions. Words can lie, but actions can’t.” - Anonymous

Let's carefully understand the human behaviour stated above with the following real life examples:

1. You say that you love and respect another person but actually perform actions and behaviour that constantly harms that person or which is disliked by that person.

2. You promise to help a needy person in times of difficulty but do not actually do anything that will help that person during tough times.

3. You want to improve your health and fitness but do not show any behavioral changes in your lifestyle.

4. You constantly say that you treat all your children equally but your behaviour shows soft corner for one of your children.

According to https://exploringyourmind.com, "When words and actions contradict each other, the actions reveal the person’s true intentions. Focus on what the person does and not what they say, because that’s what better describes their motivations."

A study on human behavior has revealed that 90% of the population can be classified into four basic personality types: Optimistic, Pessimistic, Trusting and Envious and, out of these four types, Envious is the most common with 30% compared to 20% for each of the other groups. Thus, there are several factors such as envy, jealousy, physical factors, psychological factors and other factors which influences a person's behaviour.

According to https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk, a person who acts one way and says something else is talking themselves out of any perceived commitment so they can lessen their vulnerability and responsibility. The integrity and character of the self is also affected considerably. It also impacts the relationship between these individuals to a larger extent. Therefore, one should always be extra careful and demonstrate his/her behaviour in alignment with one's words.

In simpler words, next time don't just tell someone that you missed that person at a particular point of time. Instead, call or message that person at that point of time itself to express that you miss him/her to evidence that your words and your behaviour are the same.

Let's consider the words and behaviour of a couple who had 4 children. When these children grew up, 2 of them settled in different countries whereas the remaining 2 children were living at a shorter distance. It was a ritual for this family to meet over a video conference once every week and none of the family members will make any other plans on this day/time. At the time of any festival or gathering, when the children who stayed nearby would come to meet their parents, the couple would also conduct a video conference with the other 2 children staying abroad to express that they were missing them. Any yearly celebrations or events were planned such that all the 4 children would be able to participate with their whole family. This family's behaviour and words are aligned and effort is made to treat and express love for all the 4 children equally making it a perfect example of the quote from Benjamin Franklin which is "Well done is better than well said".

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